The Goods on Gorillas

 

1. A baby gorilla moves and acts exactly like Gizmo from Gremlins.

2.
If you want to see a gorilla in Rwanda, you have to pay $500 for a kindergarten certificate that gives you the permission to be “a gorilla trekker”, otherwise you’ll be heavily fined or may end up as bush beat.

3. However, if you decide to go as a bush meat hunter or want to hack down some trees, it’s OK to see and kill as many gorillas as you wish.

4.
Most gorilla fund organizations don’t actually do anything to save the gorillas. They just make it look like they do, like the knuckleheads that run the L.A Zoo.

5.
Gorillas are the coolest and most laid-back creatures on earth AND they’re smarter than humans. They don’t need a pipe, remote, or joystick to kill the time. Just a stick.

6.
When you confront one in the wild, don’t look into their eyes right away. Let them study you first. Keep your head bowed when you do look up to take a look at them, and do kneel when you part ways. Otherwise, they’ll keep studying you thinking you’re a threat and that could be dangerous. Respect the territory and its rulers. Their laws are understandable.

7. There are about 600 gorillas left on earth. Most are killed for food (bush meat), slaughtered by poachers to be sold on the black market, or shot by militants and tree hackers for getting in their way.

8.
They have the same exact emotions as humans.

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